I'm a born again believer. I'm filthy and dirty, full of sin. But when Christ was nail to that tree, my sin that held Him there was forever paid. I love life. I love to be funny, make jokes and smile. Smiling is my favorite. I want to pursue a music career and write many songs. I want God to recieve all the glory and honor for the talents He has given me and I want to proclaim His name all the rest of my days.
Matthew 18:21-22 Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” (22) Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.
Forgiving as a follower of Jesus Christ has always made sense to me. It’s never been something I’ve had to struggle with, Lord willing, or try to understand. Jesus gave us examples throughout scripture of how we should forgive. Even nailed to the cross Jesus ask God to forgive them. Forgiveness comes from love. Being able to have the amount of love God gives to me to forgive ALL my sins, why couldn’t I have the same love for others and do the same? Something that really evens the playing field is our abilities to sin. And someone else’s sin is no worse than my own sin. So who am I to withhold forgiveness of another man’s sin when I myself am sinner and have been forgiven by the Creator who shows the greatest love? You following me? Good.
That being said, I realized tonight that one of my greatest faults is accepting forgiveness. See, sometimes sin can get so big or messy that it takes us several times of asking God to forgive us again. It’s like a scratched record playing over and over in your mind. It’s a memory of sin that you can’t escape.
Tonight I saw forgiveness that was hard for me to swallow. It was from my best friend. They didn’t have to forgive me. They had every right to not forgive me in fact. But in the face of this permanent, undo-able, damaging truth my best friend chose forgiveness. Their love for me was so large and great that they forgave me, comforted me and continued to love me. Knowing that let’s me realize what greater love God has for me, love I can’t fathom. Love much stronger than that of my friend’s. And to know the amount of times God chooses to forgive me. He doesn’t just take that one sin against my best friend and forgive, He takes it all! What love! What freedom! The truth is, no sin is ever strong enough to need that scratched record playing in our minds. The freedom is waiting from the moment we ask for it.
Ever seem like God’s giving you something you’ve been yearning for but did not see yourself ready for, especially something that had a bad taste the first few times? This is the best way I can spin it: It’s like being in a devastating car crash and being forced behind the wheel once again. All those memories of the wreck. The sudden hit, the broken glass, the flip, maybe even some physical pain. Well I’ve swept up my broken glass, turned the car back over, and healed the bruises but I can’t shake the memories or the fear it will happen again. I’ve even got a brand new car with top of the line safety features and an extra cup holder or two. It’s almost perfect and I know it’s just the match God intended. But I struggle trusting God. I love my car. I love God. I know my car only wants to be the best for me and God only wants the best FOR me. So why am I letting the broken glass determine my faith in the new and purified gifts God is giving me now. I have to know that everything will work according to those who love God. I have to also trust that. My knuckles are getting kind of tight from this grip I’m trying to keep. But every time I let go and let God do what God does it all falls into it’s proper place. I don’t understand the things God does and His timing. Maybe, probably never will. Who said I have too though? All I HAVE to do is trust God and His blessings.